Missing
by rantandrumour
Summary: Alex is kidnapped and is it up to the team to find her. Will they be able to find her? And if they do, what consequences will they face? T for language
1. Loss

**I know that I haven't posted all of Blame yet, but I have actually finished that story. I just don't want to release it all at once. :) I own nothing of Ashes.  


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**October 12****th****, 1982**

Alex woke with a start and looked at her alarm clock. "_Shit." _

She was already twenty minutes late for work, and with the primping the eighties required, it would be another hour before she could walk through CID's doors. She got ready as quickly as she could and rushed out the door of her tiny flat. She let herself out into the alley next to Luigi's and started off to CID in a near sprint. Halfway through the alley, something flew above her head. Alex tried to cover her head with her arms, but the object was too fast. With an unhealthy sounding thud, the thing hit her.

Alex fell to the ground, stunned and losing consciousness. She felt someone rifling through her jacket, but she couldn't move. Her world was blurry and fading, but sounds still penetrated.

"Shit. She's one of Hunt's officers! Could you have made this any more obvious?"

"Yes. I could have done it in front of him, or killed her. Would you like me to execute option two now?"

"No. Just call the boss and tell him we've found one for him."

Alex's world went black.

*

Gene Hunt was in his office, slowly working himself into a rage. Alex should have been in an hour and a half ago. She was probably still sleeping off all the booze she had consumed last night. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore.

"SHAZ!"

Shaz timidly approached the door. "Yes, Guv?"

"CALL DI DRAKE AND FIND OUT WHERE THE HELL SHE IS!"

"Yes Guv." Shaz retreated to her desk, where she immediately and quickly dialed Alex's number.

Even though it was only ten thirty in the morning, Gene helped himself to a large scotch. He drank it in one gulp, grimacing slightly as it burned his throat. Shaz timidly approached his door again.

"Um, Guv? DI Drake, well she's not answering her phone."

"Right. Well, I'll just have to go wake up our sleeping beauty." Gene swung his coat over his shoulders and, even though he was only walking to Alex's flat, put on his driving gloves. He started storming out of CID, only to be stopped by Viv, who was bringing in a very distressed woman.

"Guv, this woman reported a kidnapping."

"Just take a bloody statement Viv," Gene growled.

"Guv, you might want to listen to this."

"Fine." Gene ushered her into his office and shut the door. "Tell me what happened, love."

The woman was plainly terrified, Gene's current mood not making it any better. He tried to relax his face, look more sympathetic, but that really was Drake's field. _ "And she's not bloody here at the moment, sleeping in." _

Finally, the woman started.

"I was walking past the alley between that Italian restaurant, and the building of flats next door. I heard something and looked down it. Two men, both wearing masks were talking over the body of a woman, who was bleeding from the head. She appeared to be unconscious. Then they dragged her around the alley. I don't know what happened after that. I came straight here."

"What did the woman look like?" Gene asked, fearing the worst.

"I didn't get a look at her face. She was a brunette though, and was wearing a white leather jacket. One of the men, he took something out of her pocket and a gun too."

Gene rifled through his drawer and pulled out a picture of Alex, one he had secretly kept from the Christmas party in the year before. She had just gotten her hair changed from the perm she had when she first came to CID that July. In the picture, her hair was flipped back, with fringe, a look Gene liked.

"Did the jacket look like the one the woman is wearing in this picture?"

The woman took a look at the picture. "Yes. Exactly like that. In fact, that almost looks like the woman. Her back was to me, but that hairstyle. Its exactly like what the woman had."

Gene looked at her, his worst fears confirmed. "Thank you, Miss…?"

"Meyer. My name is Rebecca Meyer."

"Okay, Rebecca. Go back with Viv, and he'll take your statement. Thank you for your tip, and be assured that it will be acted on immediately."

With that, Gene ushered her to his door. She left CID, and everyone looked up at the Guv as he walked out of the office. He was pale, and though no worry showed on his face, it was clear the next statement he was going to make would be very bad.

"Right. I have just been informed that DI Drake has been kidnapped, and possibly dead."

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**Please review and tell me if you want me to continue this!**


	2. Unknown

**Thanks for the reviews! I AM continuing this story and it is well underway. Unbeta'd I own none of Ashes. The characters I created and the plot belong to me.**

**DATE UNKNOWN**

Alex wearily opened her eyes. She struggled weakly against the ropes holding her feet together, but quickly gave up. She didn't even try to work with the handcuffs that held her arms in place behind her back. The room she was in was black, but that didn't mean anything. It could be noon for all she knew. She had quickly lost track of time in this windowless prison, since the men had broken her watch the day she had been kidnapped.

Her stomach growled, but that was no indication of time either. She was given a sandwich every once in a while, but she was sure that it had been a few days since the last time she was fed.

The door opened. She watched it, making no attempt to call out. She had screamed the first few times it had opened, but each time she had she was beaten to near unconsciousness. She quickly stopped; eager to stop the pain. She had been rewarded for this by the gag being removed from her mouth.

A man stepped into the room, quickly shutting the door behind him. He flipped on a light. Alex closed her eyes. The light burned through her eyelids, hurting her eyes. She squinted, slowly adjusting to the brightness. The man squatted in front of her, a mask covering his face.

"Thirsty, Alex?" he asked. His voice was deep, even though he wasn't big himself. She looked at him. She didn't bother answering, knowing if she did, he would just make a game out of keeping the water away from her. Instead she gazed past him, looking around the room. It was plain. The walls were covered in wallpaper that was peeling from the walls. The floor was wood, and it creaked underneath the weight of the man as he squatted in front of her, waiting for her to answer.

Suddenly he slapped her across the face. "Answer me when I'm talking to you! I asked you if you were thirsty!"

She looked up at him, trying to muster all the hate she could in her eyes while keeping her face impassive. "Yes, I'm thirsty."

"I thought you would be." His voice sounded cocky. He raised the glass up to her lips, and she drank, trying not to dribble too much water down her shirt. The water ran out too soon. He pulled the glass away from her face. He set it on a table, the only piece of furniture in the room. Then he reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a small key. The man squatted back down, and unlocked her handcuffs. Then he untied the rope around her feet.

Alex moved her arm slightly but made no attempt to rush out of the room. She was too weak from hunger and the frequent beatings she had received until recently. The man stood up and looked at her.

"Have fun," he said, and walked out of the room, turning out the light. Alex heard the sound of a lock click. She crawled over and lay in front where she believed the door was. She heard a voice outside and struggled to make out what it was saying.

"Yes, boss. I understand. I wanted to tell you, we have moved into phase two. Phase three should be able to start in a few weeks."

Phase two? What was that? Alex lay on her back. She closed her eyes, remembering when she had actually liked this world.

She imagined herself in CID. Gene was at his desk, smoking and brooding. Chris and Ray were sitting with their legs up on their desks, talking about the bird Ray had been with the night before. Shaz was at her desk, making wedding plans. Gene would call her into his office. It would end up in a fight as often as not, and he would put his face into the pout. She had loved his pout.

Alex was sure that they would look for her, but would they find her? She knew that the Guv wouldn't give up on the search for her. As she drifted back into sleep, she wondered what they were doing.

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**TBC...**

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	3. Evidence

**Due to the fact that I may not be able to post for several days, I decided to put up two chapters today. Just a note, being in intense denial over what happened in Series 2, I decided to pretend that episode 8 never occured. Therefore, my story does take place during Nov. of '82, when we all know Alex was doing more fun things. This is unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine. I own nothing of Ashes, it all belongs to the BBC and Kudos and such.**

**January 13****th****, 1983**

Gene was lost in thought. Unconsciously, he stared at the desk which up until several months ago had been the workstation of his favourite officer. He remembered the day she had disappeared. Ray, Chris and him had immediately run out to Luigi's to look for evidence. After scouring the alley for hours, all they had found was a trail blood on the ground which Gene had concluded was Alex's, since the woman said she had been bleeding. The trail led into the street behind the Luigi's, and then disappeared. They had no leads, and no ransom demands. Alex Drake had simply disappeared.

The rest of CID came in quietly, immediately beginning their paperwork. The Guv had been in a horrible temper since DI Drake had disappeared. Shaz started passing out the mail. There was a package in the mail today, labelled in a tidy script for the Guv. It was too big to fit in his box, so Shaz approached the door and knocked.

The Guv looked up. "What?" he asked.

"You have a package, Guv, and it won't fit in your box..."

"Just leave it on me desk Shaz." He threw a dart at the dartboard, landing just below the bull's-eye. Shaz left it on his desk and retreated quietly to hers.

Gene finished his game of darts and looked at the package on his desk. He grabbed his knife and slit the tape open. He opened the box flaps.

"SHIT!" Everyone in CID looked up at the Guv. He was standing over the package, a look of revulsion, horror and pity on his face. The Guv looked up and noticed everyone staring at him.

"Chris, Ray, come in here," he said, his voice carefully calm. Chris and Ray looked at eachother nervously and walked in the office. Ray closed the door behind him.

"Put on some gloves and look through the box," the Guv said; his voice still controlled. He was already wearing a pair of gloves. Ray and Chris did as he said and opened the box.

"Flamin' Nora!" Ray exclaimed. Chris ran out of the room toward the men's, holding his mouth.

Ray pulled out a blouse covered in dirt and stained in blood. It was torn in several places. Next came a pair of pants, and undergarments in the same condition. Under that was a white leather jacket, also covered in dirt and blood. Jewelry and a broken watch fell out as Ray picked up the jacket. On the bottom of the box were a gun and a warrant card.

The Guv looked at Ray. He spoke, his voice horribly calm, hiding all emotion. "I think, given the evidence, we have to turn the case about the disappearance of DI Drake into a murder investigation."

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**TBC...**

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	4. Name

**Thanks for all the reviews! They are much appreciated! This whole story is unbeta'd. Owning Ashes=Not me :( ** **DATE UNKNOWN**

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She had a name at one point. She knew that. She had a life, and mates, and a job. She had a love, a secret love. She tried to recall her name. It came up blank. Everything did. She didn't know who she was, where she was or what she was doing here. All she knew was that she had a name. Hadn't it started with an "A"? A something.

She stopped. She couldn't remember. It was giving her a headache. She drank some water from a glass that was sitting on a table next to her bed. She needed to calm down. She inhaled, and looked at her surroundings.

There was a bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The floor was wood; it would creak under her feet if she walked over it. Faded wallpaper was on the wall, but it was old and peeling. Sunlight streamed in the window.

The door opened, and a man walked in. He was tall and skinny, but not in a bad way. His eyes were ocean blue, and his hair was brown, almost black. She looked at him. The man smiled.

"Hello," he said quietly.

"Hello," she responded.

He looked at her. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes." She was starving. The man gave her a bowl of broth, which she ate slowly, even though her stomach was telling her to gulp it down as quickly as possible. Something told her this wasn't the right thing to do.

The man watched her the entire time she was eating. She finished and returned the bowl.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked.

"Strange."

"I would expect so, after getting over a fever like that. You had us worried for a while there, Catherine."

"Catherine? Who's Catherine?"

The man smiled sadly. "You still don't remember? _You_ are Catherine, love."

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I'm your husband, Matt, remember?"

"No." She was concerned. Shouldn't she remember her husband? "What happened?"

"We went on holiday to Spain, and got home for Christmas. Right after the New Year you developed a terrible fever. You've been delirious for about a week. It'll all come back to you, Catherine. I promise." He looked at her hazel eyes, full of confusion and fear.

"What year is it?"

"It's January of 1983, love. Now if you don't mind me saying, you need your rest." He stood up.

"Wait, Matt." Matt stopped. "What's my last name?"

"Williams."

"Catherine Williams. I like that."

Matt started walking to the door and turned around. She was looking more content. He walked out the door.

The men standing outside the door grinned at each other. The final phase had begun.

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**TBC...**


	5. Surprises

**Thanks as always for the reviews! Ownership of Ashes = Not me!**

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**October 5****th****, 1983**

Gene stared at the desk that had now sat empty for nearly a year. It had stayed untouched for days, but slowly the files disappeared from the surface. He himself had taken her name plaque from her desk. It hurt too much to look at. He had stuffed it in the drawer of a file cabinet that he never used. It went there with her other things. When the case went cold, he went into evidence and took her warrant card and gun. Those were the only things he had left of Alex. He had considered taking her jacket, but couldn't. It was covered in blood, which forensics had confirmed was her blood. He couldn't bear the sight of it.

Gene opened the drawer that held her name plate, warrant card and gun. He remembered Annie's eyes when he had given her Sam's jacket, which he had left in the office that morning. Since Sam's body was never found, his jacket served as closure and a memorial. That's exactly what Alex's things did for him.

Shaz knocked and entered the office. "Guv? I have the papers you requested."

Shaz had been growing round since her honeymoon. She looked at him in concern. "You're ready to this Guv?"

"It's been nearly a year. We haven't heard anything since the day her things arrived. You know as well as I do that she's probably dead. Superintendant Rivers has been on me for months. I have to." His voice was flat. Shaz could tell that he was convincing himself as well as trying to convince her.

"Can you clean out the drawers Shaz? It was never done, and the new DI'll need a desk."

"Yes, Guv. I'll get right on that." Shaz didn't look forward to emptying Alex's desk. She missed her almost as much as the Guv.

Gene took a swig of whiskey. He hadn't been drinking as much since Alex disappeared, and he didn't know why. Maybe he wanted to be sober in case she ever just popped up out of the blue. He knew that her suddenly coming back to existence was impossible, but it didn't stop him from hoping.

Ray entered the office. "Guv, we just got report of a bank robbery on Rimmel Street. Six hostages. Three of them are employees, three are customers."

The Guv looked up at Ray and stood. "Right," he said, emotion finally creeping into his voice. He was going out to do the only thing that brought him any happiness now, catching scumbags. "Let's fire up the Quattro."

*

Gene always liked to go into situations all guns blazing. His gut today, however was telling him to negotiate. Swallowing hard, he tried to remember how Alex did it. Gene gave Ray his gun, who looked at him like he had gone mad. And since Alex disappeared, he had in a way. He approached the door.

"This is DCI Gene Hunt," he called. "I am unarmed. I want to know what you want to release those hostages."

The robbers approached the door, hostage in tow. It was a woman, but her head was covered by a bag. She was wearing a skirt suit. The robber had a gun to her head.

"I'll tell you what we want," one of the robbers yelled back. He sounded young. "Get rid of all the coppers, and let us go. Then none of them will die!"

"The problem with that is we know whose vehicle is whose out here. If we let you bastards go, we can just track down the car. But if you let those innocent people go now, I can get ya a shorter jail sentence. I'll give ya one count of kidnapping instead of six, and attempted robbery. Whole hell of a lot better than if ya shoot one of them innocent people."

Ray and Chris approached behind the Guv. Then robbers made an extremely stupid move. They stepped outside in the front of the bank, leaving the hostage inside. One showed them two fingers, and started to yell something, but couldn't finish. Two shots rang out, and both of the robbers grabbed their feet swearing.

"Chris, you twonk, I swear that's becoming your bloody signature," Ray said appreciatively.

Chris and Ray moved to arrest the robbers. Without their masks, they looked about 15.

"That explains the idiot move," said Chris, happy that he wasn't being made fun of for once. "They're babies!"

One of the robbers spat in his face, earning a punch from Ray.

Gene walked into the bank. All the hostages were taking off the bags they had worn on their heads, except the one who had had the gun to her head.

"You all are safe, but we need statements from all of ya, so hurry up outside. He walked up to the woman, who was still sitting where the robbers left her.

"We need you outside, love. I know you've been through an ordeal today, but we still need a statement."

She still didn't move. Something in the way she was sitting reminded him of someone he knew, he just couldn't place it. He took the bag off her head, to see a mess of long brunette hair.

"Ma'am? We need you outside." Gene didn't lose his temper at her. She had been through so much today that she didn't need to go through one of his temper tantrums.

"_God, am I goin' soft?"_

"Right, sorry." She started to get up. Gene helped her, but was lost in his thoughts.

"_It can't be! That voice sounds exactly like..."_

The brunette turned around to face him.

"Bloody fucking hell."

He was staring into the face of Alex Drake.

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**TBC...**


	6. Disappointment

**Thanks for reviews! owning ashes =not me!**

**October 5****th**** 1983**

It couldn't be Alex, could it? There was no way… She was dead, all evidence pointed to the fact that she was. And if she was free, what was she doing walking around down here? Why hadn't she come back to CID? A small voice in the back of his head answered. _"Maybe she didn't want to come back. She had enough, and faked her death." _But that didn't make sense either. Wouldn't she have been afraid of seeing him if that was the case?

All of this went through his mind in a millisecond. Alex looked at him with disgust in her eyes and muttered "How vulgar."

Ray and Chris had heard the Guv scream and ran in, guns ready. They stopped dead seeing the person standing in front of him.

"Holy shit," Ray said.

"Bloody Hell," Chris exclaimed at the same time.

Alex looked at both of them coldly. "Really, I know you're coppers, but are you really so crude that the first thing you say when you meet someone is a curse word?" Her voice was snobby, as if she thought she was superior to them in every way.

"Alex, cut the shit," Gene said, slightly angry that she had been alive for a year and hadn't contacted him.

"Alex? Who's Alex?" she asked honestly.

"You are ma'am," Ray replied.

"I think you have me confused with someone else. I don't even know a woman named Alex. My name is Catherine Williams."

"What are you talking about?" asked Gene. He was getting seriously angry, but a slight realisation was edging into the back of his mind. "We know that you are Alex Drake. So cut the shit!"

"I have already told you, Mr…?"

"Hunt."

"Mr. Hunt. I have already told you that I am not this Alex Drake. I do not know anyone by this name. My name is Catherine Williams and I will give my statement, but I would rather give it to someone who is not so foul-mouthed."

"Fine then, Ms. _Williams,"_ he growled. "We have to take you back to the station, but you can give your statement there."

"Fine. But I'll drive myself." She got into a posh looking car, which Gene didn't catch the make of, and drove off towards Fenchurch.

Gene, Chris and Ray walked back to the Quattro in shock.

"What do you make of it Guv?" Ray asked.

"That's Alex. It has to be. But she's not faking anything. She doesn't remember us at all Ray."

*

Catherine sat in her car, in front of the station waiting for the DCI's Quattro to pull up. _"He'll be here in just a few minutes. He drives like a maniac," _she thought to herself. Catherine stopped. How would she know that? She had only met the man an hour ago. But his face… His face rang a bell in her head, like she had known him from a different life.

Catherine thought back to the first day she could remember, the day she had woken up and had no memory. Matt had reassured her it would come back, but everything before that day was still buried too deep in her memory to find. She sighed and leaned back against her seat, only to jump when someone knocked at her window. It was Hunt.

"Are you gettin' out? Come on."

Catherine sighed and got out of her car. She followed Hunt into an interrogation room. Everyone stared at her, and she wondered how much like this Alex Drake she must look. She wondered what happened to her. Catherine settled into the slightly uncomfortable seat and waited.

*

Gene walked into CID, concerned. What had happened to make Drake forget him? He needed a psychologist. There was only one person who he knew other than Alex who was one. Gene picked up the phone. He dialled a number and waited as the phone on the other end rang. The person picked up.

"Hello?"

Gene took a deep breath. "Annie, I need your help."

*

Catherine had been waiting in the interrogation room for half an hour before someone walked in.

"Finally," she muttered. She looked up at the man. He was the man who had been at the front desk. He was in uniform.

"Are you here to get my statement?"

"No ma'am. The Guv just requested me to get fingerprints off of you."

"Fingerprints? Why the hell do you need fingerprints? I didn't commit the robbery!"

"I know ma'am. It's just, since you look so much like our DI; he wants fingerprints to prove to himself that you aren't her."

"Fine," she said angrily. Catherine looked at him again. His face seemed familiar, but she couldn't place it. "What's your name by the way?"

"Viv, ma'am."

"Viv…" The name sounded familiar to Catherine. But, just like Gene Hunt, she didn't remember him at all.

Viv finished fingerprinting her and left.

"Wait! Come back! How long am I supposed to stay in here? Tell your Guv to hurry up so I can give my statement!" Catherine yelled at the door. No one came in. She settled back into her chair, preparing for another long wait.

*

Gene looked in the window of the interrogation room. Alex was leaning back in the chair, looking bored. There was coldness in her eyes that he didn't remember ever seeing before. She checked her wristwatch and sighed. Gene caught a flash of a ring on her left hand. She was married? Gene decided not to keep her waiting any longer. He walked in the door. Alex looked up.

"I already told you, I'm not giving you my statement. I'm giving it to someone civilised."

"Shut up," Gene growled. This woman may have the same face as Alex, but she certainly wasn't his Bolly. She looked up at him, her hazel eyes icy.

"I came in to tell you, someone from Manchester is coming in to get your statement. It will be a few hours. Now, you can sit in here for the rest of that time, or you can join me in CID."

"I want to talk to my husband."

"Your husband?"

"Yes, Hunt, my husband," she said angrily. "Don't I get a phone call?"

"You're not under arrest." Gene was getting increasingly frustrated. "You can call him from my office."

"Fine, but I don't want you in it."

"Whatever. Come on." He led her into CID, where everyone stared as she walked past. By now, they had heard the story that she didn't remember them. Shaz was still cleaning out her desk.

"Shaz, you can stop that. Hopefully, DI Drake will recover soon enough, and we won't need a new DI."

Shaz stopped, and looked up at the woman next to Gene. Yes, she looked like Alex, but everything about her was different. Shaz stood.

"What's this Hunt? You have a woman doing all the cleaning? How...chauvinistic. And a woman in the force. How...modern," the woman said disdainfully.

"I'm Shaz ma'am," Shaz said politely.

"Shaz. It's lovely to meet someone with proper manners. I'm Catherine. Very nice to meet you." She reached her hand out and shook Shaz's hand. The ice in her eyes melted slightly looking at Shaz.

"Same to you ma'am." Shaz was mystified, had she earned this version of Alex's respect too?

Gene couldn't stand it any longer. "I thought you wanted to call your husband, not sit and chat about the weather!"

Catherine shot him another icy stare and walked into the office. He followed her in.

"I am quite capable of calling my husband on my own, thank you very much."

"I don't care what you are and are not capable of, _Catherine,_" he said, sounding her name out sarcastically. "I was just wondering, what is your husband's name?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but his name is Matt."

"Matt Williams?"

"Yes! Do you think that I would marry him and not change my name?"

"Really, at this point, I can honestly say that I have absolutely no idea what you would do." With that, Gene stormed out of the office and stopped by Ray's desk.

"Right, I want you to find out where a man named Matt Williams lives, and arrest him for something."

"What, Guv?"

"Anything you can think of. But there's loads of cocaine in evidence. If we get him on that, he could go down for a while."

"Right, Guv."

"Don't screw this up. Getting Alex back may rest on it."

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**TBC**

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	7. Inquiry

**Thank you again for all the reviews! I really do appreciate them! This chapter is kind of slow, but it'll pick up again in a few chapters! Once again, i do not own ashes, and this story is unbeta'd**

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Catherine walked out of Gene's office looking smug.

"So, is your husband going to come and rescue you?"

"No, Mr. Hunt. Unlike you chauvinistic pigs, he believes that women can stick up for themselves." She walked over an empty desk and sat in the chair.

"He does expect me home before tonight though, do you think you could make it so I could give my statement before then?"

Gene couldn't answer. She was sitting in Alex's desk. This was what he had longed for, to see Alex sitting in that desk. And it had happened. But she wasn't Alex. She was a completely different person. He watched her. Absentmindedly, she picked up a pencil from the mug on the desk and started fiddling with it, staring into space. God, Alex used to do that all the time. That and the lip bite. It drove him mad when she bit her lip, his libido had always increased.

Gene controlled his thoughts before his body would start to betray him. Instead he focused on the woman sitting in the desk.

"So, your husband, how did you meet him?"

"I don't remember. He says we met on holiday in America. We had both decided that we would see what was so great about the Great Plains, and ended up in Nebraska. We met at some absurd fast food restaurant, and continued seeing each other after our holidays ended. Eventually he proposed and we married."

"What do you mean, you don't remember?"

"It's none of your business, Mr. Hunt." Her cheeks flushed and her eyes looked worried. Gene knew, she had said something she wasn't supposed to.

"Any kids?"

"No. Neither Matt or I are particularly fond of children. What about you? Any children?"

Gene paused, surprised how quickly she had turned the question on him.

"I did."

"What do you mean, did?"

"I'll tell you when you tell me what you mean by saying you don't remember."

Her cheeks flushed again, in anger this time. God, he had missed provoking her. All he needed was a good fight, and he would nearly have Alex back.

However, that blow-up didn't happen. The doors of CID opened, and another brunette walked in and gave Gene a hug.

"Guv! It's been too long!"

"Hello, Annie," he said awkwardly. "You're right. S'been too long."

Annie pulled her arms back. "Sorry Guv, I know you're not one for hugs, but it's been near four years!"

"Yes, Annie, but I was hoping we could catch up a little later."

"Oh, right, you had someone you wanted me to talk to. Where is she?"

"Right behind you."

Annie turned to see Catherine staring at her with disdain. "Hello, I'm Annie Tyler. What's your name?"

"I am Catherine Williams_, _but they seem to think that I am their old DI. Alex something."

"Well Catherine, would you like to go with me to an interrogation room, and we can discuss this matter in private?"

"Yes. Any excuse to get away from _him,"_ she said, nodding at Chris, who was eating a sandwich and had somehow managed to get the condiments all over himself and his desk.

"Follow me then, Catherine."

With that, Annie walked out the door. Catherine nodded to Shaz and followed. Gene went into the office and slammed the door. He needed to think.

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**TBC... **


	8. Existence

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Thanks for all the reviews! They are much appreciated! ashes doesn't belong to me...

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They sat across from each other in the interrogation room. Catherine had just finished giving her statement. Annie looked at her. She had seen pictures of Alex Drake from when she had gone missing. This woman did look exactly like her.

"Do you know why they think that you are Alex Drake?"

"No, I have no idea. I don't know anyone named Alex Drake, at least not that I remember."

"You keep talking about your memory. Is there something wrong with it?"

"I can tell you, but you have to promise not to tell that brute of a DCI."

"Fine. I won't tell him. So what is going on with your memory?"

"I don't remember anything before January 12th of this year. I woke up that day, and felt odd, like I had just gotten over a bad bout of the flu. I couldn't remember anything. I couldn't even remember my name. A man walked into the room, and told me who I was and who he was."

"This was your husband?"

"Yes."

"What happened up until this day?"

"I was bedridden for about a week. Then Matt started returning me to everyday life. People looked at me oddly, but he told me it was because they had heard I was so sick. Eventually, I was living a normal life."

"What do you do for a living?"

"Live. Matt makes enough for both of us. He's never told me what he does... I think he thinks that I would have remembered by now."

"So what were you doing at the bank this morning?"

"Matt gives me a sort of allowance. I was depositing it, because I am staying in this week. There was no point in me having the money."

Annie decided this was the time to figure out if her subconscious remembered anything about Alex Drake. While she would not perform hypnosis, she would test little things to see if Alex was still in there somewhere.

"Tell me, Catherine, does the name Gene Hunt remind you of anything?"

"No. I mean, when I first heard it, it was like I had heard the name before, but it must have been from before January, because I can't recall anything about it. That man, Viv? His name seemed familiar too."

"Can you tell me why you detest the police so much?"

"I don't know... I guess Matt doesn't like them, so I don't. He always told me to stay away from them. He said that they were more corrupt than the Met would let on and you shouldn't trust them. So I listened, because, I can't remember anything about them."

"I see. Thank you Catherine."

"Can I leave now?"

"Let me go talk to DCI Hunt. He'll let you know in a few minutes."

Annie walked out. Catherine settled in her chair for another long wait.

**Chapter 9**

Gene was sitting at his desk when Annie barged in.

"You're supposed to knock," he growled.

"Sorry Guv."

Gene gave her a small smile. He wasn't really angry at her; he just hadn't had anyone to fight with for a year. He had no way to get his temper out anymore.

"So what do you think Annie?"

"Before I can give you an answer, I need to know a few things."

"Just tell me what you think Annie!"

"Guv, calm down. I am still trying to determine whether or not Alex is still residing in the subconscious of Catherine."

"English?"

"I am trying to figure out if Alex still exists, or if she is permanently Catherine. I want to talk to her with you in the room. Maybe you can see if she still does little actions she used to do, or see if she uses phrases Alex would did."

"I don't know if you could get her to do anything in front of me. She seems to hate me. And all I did was swear in front of her. But there was something earlier. She was fiddling with a pencil on the desk when she was talking to me. Alex always did that."

"That's good, Guv. It means that she may still be in there. I'm going to go get Catherine, okay?"

"Her name is Alex."

"Yes, but as long as she thinks she is Catherine, it is better to refer to her as that. I'll be right back Guv."

*

Annie pulled in a disgruntled looking Catherine. Gene decided to try and be a gentleman, something he had never quite accomplished.

"Catherine, please have a seat."

She gave him an icy stare. "Did you watch an etiquette tape while I was sitting in the interview room? Or are you just faking so that I'll be a good girl and tell you whatever you want to know?"

Gene looked at her, a pout forming. Annie was standing in the corner, watching everything.

Catherine continued with her rant. "If you think I'm going to tell you everything about my life, Hunt, you have got to get a serious grip on reality! I would never, ever let scum like you know anything about my life!"

Gene was pissed.

"Shut up, you bloody pathetic excuse for a woman!" She stopped, and settled back on one leg, trying to put her thumbs in her pocket, before she realised she was in a skirt, and had none.

"Thank God, I can actually hear myself think! Let's get something straight, shall we? First off, you consider me scum? I saved your bloody life! You were nearly killed at the bank today! That's the real scum, the ones who don't give a shit who they hurt to get what they want! Secondly, I didn't bring you in here to discuss your snivelling excuse for a life. You can't remember your bloody life, so why would I ask?!"

Catherine stared at him, stung. She looked at Annie. "I thought you said you wouldn't tell him! You gave me your word!"

"Don't blame her. She didn't tell me."

"Then who did?"

"You did. Oldest trick in the book."

"You're an absolute bastard, Hunt."

"Naughty, naughty, you said a bad word!"

She jutted her chin out, turned, and walked out of his office, slamming the door. Annie ran after her.

"Catherine! Catherine! Wait!"

Catherine stopped. There were tears in her eyes.

"Oh Catherine." Annie hugged her. Catherine didn't resist, sobbing into her shoulder.

"How could he know, if you didn't tell him? Why would he bring that up even?"

"Remember, he thinks that you are Alex Drake. That's why he took a stab at you not remembering your life."

"What did this bloody DI look like? I mean, I can't look that much like her can I?!"

"Actually, Catherine, you two could have been twins."

"I want to see a picture."

"I can get you one."

Annie let go of Catherine. Catherine sniffed. Her tears had stopped. They were sitting in front of Viv, who looked terrified of being asked to console her. Annie gave Catherine a reassuring smile, who returned it.

The moment, however, was broken when Ray came crashing through the door hauling a man in handcuffs. The man looked up.

"Catherine!"

"Matt! Why are they arresting you?"

"He's dealing in cocaine ma'am," Ray explained. "Surprised you don't know that, him being your husband and all."

"What?! Matt, you don't..."

Matt hung his head. "I just wanted you to have a good life."

"Oh, Matt. I _was _happy. I had you!"

"God, I'm gonna chuck!" Catherine jumped, she hadn't heard Gene approach.

"Take him to interview one," he said to Ray. His next statement was directed at Catherine.

"Listen, love. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I don't always think things through when I get angry, and well, you pissed me off."

Catherine just looked at him, her eyes full of despair.

"You brought in my _husband._ How can I live without him? He's been there for me as long as I can remember." Catherine wasn't aware, but she had been led to Hunt's office. Annie walked in quietly, and shut the door. He poured her a scotch, which she downed in one gulp.

"Catherine." Gene's voice was sympathetic. "How far back _can _you remember?"

"January, this year."

Viv knocked on Gene's door.

"Come in, Viv."

"Guv, I got the fingerprints back. I also got a picture of DI Drake. Mrs. Williams wanted to see one."

"Right. Thanks Viv." Gene opened the folder. There was a picture of Alex, taken from the Christmas party in 1981. It reminded Gene painfully of the day he had shown Rebecca his picture; the day he thought he had lost Alex forever. Underneath the picture were the results of the fingerprints. His stomach was in knots. What if this _was _an innocent woman, and not Alex? He had harassed her for nothing. Shaking slightly, he pulled the results out of the folder. The prints on the top were labelled as Catherine Williams. The bottom prints were labelled as Alex Drakes. They were the same. There was no doubt now. Catherine Williams was Alex Drake. But did Alex still exist?

* * *

**TBC! **


	9. Missing

**Thanks for the amazing reviews! I don't own Ashes at all... :'(**

* * *

Catherine watched as the look on Hunt's face turned from one of sympathy, to anxiety, to relief. What had he found in the fingerprints? He looked up, as if just noticing she was still there.

"Can I see that picture?"

Hunt just nodded, too happy to speak. He handed her the picture. It was of a woman with brunette flipped-back hair. She was wearing an oversized green sweater and black skinny jeans, tucked into white boots. Over the sweater she wore a white leather jacket. That jacket looked familiar to Catherine, but again, she couldn't recall if she had actually seen it before or not. What drew Catherine was the woman's face. It looked exactly like hers. The woman had the same eye-shape, same mouth, nose everything. Every single detail was the same, even the unusual eye colour.

Catherine stared at the picture in shock. "It can't be."

Gene looked at her, eyes full of pity. "Looks exactly like you don't she?" He handed her the sheet with the fingerprints on it.

"No. This isn't possible."

"Fingerprints don't lie, love."

"I...I am Alex Drake?" Her voice was breaking.

"Yes."

"Why can't I remember? Why wouldn't I know my name? _Why would Matt lie to me?!" _she asked in anguish.

"I don't know." Gene's voice was quiet. Catherine sat in the chair sobbing uncontrollably. Annie moved over to comfort her.

"Guv, go take care of something else. I'm going to calm her down."

"Wait, Annie. Talk to me out in the office."

"What about her?"

Gene opened his door.

"Shaz! Come in here, and sit with Al... Catherine!"

"Yes, Guv." Shaz quickly stood and walked into the office, where she immediately sat next to Catherine. Gene and Annie moved to the break room.

"What do you think Annie? Is Alex still there?"

"Did you notice any of her quirks when you talked to her?"

"She tried to put her hands in her back pocket when I was yelling at her, but she didn't have any. Alex would always stand like that. Also, when she stormed out of the office, she did it exactly like Alex used to. She jutted her chin out, turned on one heel, and slammed the door. And then, like I told you earlier, she fiddled with that pencil on the desk. What do you think Annie? That's all I really noticed, but I may have missed something. Is she still there? Do you think she'll come back?" Gene was pleading.

Annie thought. "Honestly, Guv, I do think she's still there. As far as coming back, if you introduce her to her old life, maybe she will come back. There isn't a guarantee on that, but if she goes through her old life again, it's possible that something will trigger her memory."

"No guarantee?"

"In cases like this, there never is."

"Why do you think her memory is gone, Annie?"

"My guess is that she was tortured very badly. She would have placed the blame on many people for this, from herself for walking down the alley, to her abductors, to you even for not finding her. Eventually, it got so bad that she decided, most likely subconsciously-that's like instincts- that it would be better for her to forget everything than to go through the pain. She said something about a severe case of the flu. That could be how she forgot too."

"But why forget?" Gene was having trouble wrapping his head around this.

"Again, it probably wasn't intentional. But somewhere she snapped and forgot everything that, in her mind, caused the pain. Since she was going to work when she was kidnapped, she thought going to work caused the pain. So she forgot about CID, and everyone in it. She may have thought she was singled out, so she forgot her identity too. She forgot Alex Drake and everything to do with her, just to escape pain."

"I'm gonna get that bastard life."

"Guv, remember this is all speculation. It could be that she hit her head just right or something."

"Yes, but he still took her in and filled her head with those lies." He looked at her. "It's 50/50 she comes back then?"

"Yes, Guv."

"I'm gonna make sure she remembers."

"Guv, it isn't that easy..."

"Annie, I thought I found Alex this morning. But it turns out; I found her body, which someone else inhabits. _Alex_ is still missing. I'm got to find Alex."

**

* * *

**

TBC! I hope your enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it (although I'm enjoying writing this too much... that homework stack is getting larger!) :O


	10. Decisions

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! They are much appreciated! Again, this story is unbeta'd, and i don't own ashes.**

* * *

Catherine was sobbing. This morning started out like any other day. Now she was sitting in a police station, Matt was under arrest, and she was supposed to be someone else. She was vaguely aware that Shaz was sitting next to her. Slowly she stopped crying and looked at Shaz through watery, red eyes.

"I want to see Matt."

*

Gene finished his conversation with Annie and walked into CID. Ray was sitting at his desk, feet up, smoking.

"Ray! I want to know what happened."

"Right, Guv. Well I went and grabbed some cocaine from evidence, and got a warrant. When I got there, he wasn't home, so I went down to the docks where he works. I didn't need the cocaine, Guv. I caught the bastard with crates of it on his boat, so we can get him for supplying and use of it. That should be a nice sentence."

"Okay, so we have a man who kidnaps a police officer, brainwashes her, and makes her his wife, who is also a cocaine dealer," said Chris, slightly lost.

"Yes, Chris," said the Guv. "We're dealing with someone really messed up here. I'm gonna go interrogate. You two come with me."

Ray and Chris got up and followed Gene out of the room to the interrogation room. However, when they got there, Shaz was standing outside the door.

"Shaz, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay with Al...Catherine."

"She wanted to see her husband, Guv. Since you weren't interviewing him yet, I thought it would be okay. She's a wreck."

Gene looked through the window. Catherine was staring at Matt like a lost child. Matt was speaking, and she was nodding. He really did feel sorry for her.

"Right. It's time to interview this bastard." Gene walked toward the door, and swung it open.

*

Shaz had let her see Matt. Catherine was growing to like the woman, even though she was police. There was something about her that she liked, possibly the fact she hadn't been corrupted by Hunt.

Catherine walked into the interview room. Matt was sitting in the chair behind the table, arms cuffed behind his back.

"Matt?" she whispered.

He looked up. "Catherine," he said, a smile crossing over his face. It quickly disappeared when he saw the state she was in.

"Honey what's wrong?"

"I don't know who I am anymore Matt. They are saying that I am some woman named Alex Drake. They showed me a picture, and she looks exactly like me. Our fingerprints are the same too." Her voice cracked slightly.

"Catherine, Honey, don't worry. You know how to tell who you are?"

"How?"

"Just think, love. Who do you feel like? Do you feel like a copper, like someone who would respect Gene Hunt? Or do you feel like my wife, who I love, and who loves me back?"

Catherine thought. "I...I feel like your wife."

"That's who you are then. You _are _my wife Catherine, and you know I have not done anything to you but love you. As far as the fingerprints, those can be faked."

"And the picture?"

"I don't know about that. But if you feel like Catherine, then that's who you are."

Catherine nodded, feeling better. At that instant, Hunt swung the door open. He pointed at her.

"You, out. Shaz will take care of you. As for you..." he looked at Matt. "Welcome to Hell."

Catherine cast a glance at Matt, who nodded, and exited the room. Shaz was waiting outside.

"Come on ma'am. Let's get you a cup of tea."

*

Gene settled into the seat across from Matt, glaring. Matt looked uncomfortable. Ray sat next to Gene, and lit a cigarette. Chris stood behind them both, doing nothing.

"Matt Williams, do you know why you are here?"

"Apparently, I was arrested for drug shipping," he responded sarcastically.

Gene let his tone go.

"Thats why you were brought here, but we actually found another interesting tidbit, Mattie boy."

"Oh really? And what would that be?"

"Your wife appears to be a DI that's gone missing."

"I don't see how. Catherine never seemed to like the police. With good reason, I might add. Corrupt bastards the lot of you. In fact..." Matt was unable to finish his comment as he had been lifed out of his chair with Gene's face uncomfortably close.

"You better shut your face you wet, snivelling little bastard! Here's the facts. I have a woman in my office who believes she's your wife. Fact is, she's not really your wife is she? She's a DI that you kidnapped and tortured and then bloody BRAINWASHED!"

Matt looked up at Gene smugly. "No comment."

Ray stood up. "Just admit it. We know you did it!"

"Are you going to charge me with something, or just keep climbing out onto a limb?"

There was a thud as Gene's fist met Matt's chin and Matt fell to the floor, unconscious.

"Are you gonna charge him Guv?" asked Chris.

"Only on the drugs," Gene sighed. "As much as it pains me, we have no evidence of him kidnapping Drake. Like Annie said, she could have hit her head wrong, and he decided to take advantage of that. He'll go down for a while on the drugs charge with the amount of cocaine he was shipping. Hopefully Drake'll recover in the time he's in prison and we can nab him on kidnapping too."

"Well how do we get Drake back?" Ray asked.

"She won't come back." Everyone in the room jumped, they hadn't realised Matt had returned to consciousness.

"What do you mean?" Gene asked worriedly.

"After she got over the sickness-that took a while, it was really bad, we nearly had to take her to the hospital... Anyway, after she was better, her brain was so blissfully empty. She was just waiting for something to grasp onto. Like a clean slate, just waiting for the chalk to write on it."

"How did she lose her memory Willliams?"

"As long as she knows who truely loves her, she won't come back."

"You don't truly love her though do you?"

"Charge me or let me out."

Gene stood up, knocking the chair over.

"Charge him Chris."

He walked out angrily, running into Catherine. He hadn't realised she had been standing outside the door. She looked at him with pain and confusion in her eyes.

"Her brain was so blissfully empty..."

"Catherine..." he said, concerned.

"My life, my entire life, is just a giant lie." She looked at him again, this time her eyes held tears. Catherine was so confused. Just as she had decided that she couldn't be that DI, her world had been shifted again. She was passing by the interrogation room on the way to the ladies, and heard Matt's voice. Now she was lost again. Gene just looked at her with pity in his eyes.

"I'm supposed to be Alex Drake?"

"No Catherine," he said softly. "You _are _Alex Drake."

"If that's who I am...I want to live her life."

"What?"

"Gene, I want to remember."

* * *

**TBC...**


	11. Bolly

**Thank you for everyone who is reviewing! They are much appreciated, and it always makes me smile to open my inbox and read them! I don't own ashes and this is unbeta'd**

* * *

**December 17****th****, 1983**

CID was festive. Shaz had decorated the office in tinsel and baubles the day before for the party that night. Everyone was careful to avoid the mistletoe that hung on the entrance to CID.

Catherine sat on her desk, watching the festivity. Shaz approached her, now seriously round.

"Ma'am, are you okay?"

Catherine had grown quite fond of Shaz. She was like a little sister. She smiled.

"Yes, Shaz I'm fine." Content, Shaz walked over to Chris and pulled him under the mistletoe. The room cheered as they kissed.

In reality, Catherine wasn't okay. She was growing more and more depressed as the days went by. She knew that Matt wasn't really her husband, he had admitted that much back in October to Gene. The problem was, even though she knew she wasn't Catherine, she didn't know who Alex was either.

For a few days, Gene had tried to call her Alex, but finally got so frustrated because she never responded, that he gave up and started calling her Catherine again. Catherine felt bad. She could tell that she was frustrating everyone in CID because of her constant questions on the way they did things. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't remember what had happened, was it?

Gene walked into the room, scotch bottle in hand. She respected him now. The day after she decided that she would try to be Alex; he had shown her everything that Alex had known. Catherine had lived in Alex's apartment for a few months, much to the delight of Luigi. He knew she didn't remember anything, but that didn't stop him from preparing her exquisite dishes that he always told her he would never fix for any of the men in CID. Catherine sighed. If only she could remember.

*

Gene stared at the woman sitting on Alex's desk. She was trying, but Gene was starting to doubt that Alex would ever come back. Nothing he had done triggered a memory. After Annie had left, he showed her Alex's old flat, the alley which she was walking down that day, Markham's old boat, where he had found her dressed as a prostitute. Everything looked familiar to her, but she couldn't place it.

He didn't mind Catherine so much now. She had started to get the hang of CID, and didn't act like she was better than everyone anymore. He walked out of his office, with his scotch. Catherine looked at him.

"Are you always drinking?"

"You ask me that every single time you see me with a drink!"

"You never seem to be without one!"

Gene offered her a small smile. It was painful to see Alex every day, to hear her voice, and then realise that it wasn't really Alex. Catherine looked at him nervously.

"What are you doing for Christmas?"

Gene was caught off guard. "Er, nothing. Why?"

"I was wondering, seeing as I have no family and you don't seem to either, if you'd like to join me for a Christmas dinner at Luigi's?"

He looked at her incredulously. He remembered the time he had asked Alex to dinner. They had never actually made it to Dover sole. Catherine sat, waiting anxiously for his response.

"Er, yeah sure. What time?"

"Seven-ish?"

"Okay. Sounds good." Gene was actually slightly happy. "Tell ya what, I'll make it classy. I'll even get a bottle of Bolly!"

"Bolly?"

"Yeah, that posh champagne. You probably have drunk it loads. You know. Bollinger? Normal people also call it Bolly, or even Bolls." He smiled sadly again, remembering.

*

The party finally wrapped up, the finale being a woman photocopying her bum. Apparently this was an annual tradition.

Catherine was lost in thought. _"Bolly. That sounds so familiar. More familiar than anything in this world. Bolly... Bollinger... Bolls... What is it about that word?"_

Troubled, Catherine climbed into bed, the booze helping her fall asleep quickly.

_She was trapped in a dark room. Night and day meant nothing. She was weak, hungry, and in pain. The beating earlier had left her bruised, battered, and bleeding. She crumpled up her white jacket, transforming it into a pillow. How she wished someone would find her! No one would, though. They'd kill her first. She was certain she would die. Something was wrong though. She couldn't remember the names of anyone in CID, even her old DCI. She could hardly remember her own name. She drifted into a fitful sleep, not even escaping the dark room in her dreams. Suddenly she heard someone say something. It was a male voice, but not one of the men that tortured her. "Bolly." She started, the voice scaring her. However, she could not get that one word out of her head. "Bolly." Bolly was familiar. Bolly, Bolls, Bollinger Knickers. There were so many variations of it. It was her nickname. The one thing she had left to hold onto._ _She was Bolly. And that was all she had left._

Catherine woke up, sitting straight up. _"Knickers...Bolly...Knickers..."_

Suddenly she realised. _"I _am Bollinger Knickers. I am_ Alex Drake."_

_

* * *

_**TBC... Thanks again for reading**


	12. Jacket

**Thanks again for all the reviews! I am going to start trying to be more polite and emailing back a thank you, sorry I haven't done it before!**

* * *

Alex walked into CID nervously Monday morning. Bits and pieces of her memory had been restored, but she still felt that a large chunk of it was missing. She could remember everything since the day she had arrived dressed as a prostitute, but couldn't remember anything before. Gene looked up as she walked in shivering.

"God, Catherine, where's your coat?"

Alex looked at Gene. She remembered him. She remembered the day she had met him, she realised with delight.

"Catherine...Where's your coat?" His voice was less patient.

"I looked for my jacket all over the flat, but couldn't find it."

"You have plenty of jackets, you were wearing one Saturday."

"No, Gene. I couldn't find _my jacket._"

"Are you trying to make some innuendo? Cause if you are, I'm not getting it here."

"You are bloody impossible aren't you? You are always making some smutty comment!"

CID looked up. They hadn't heard Catherine talk like this before. It almost sounded like...No, it couldn't be.

Gene looked at her oddly, and walked into his office to answer the phone. He walked right back out again.

"Chris, Ray! Body was found down at the river! Get to the Quattro! MUSH!" He walked out the doors, leaving Alex behind. He hadn't figured it out yet. Strangely, that was okay with Alex. She didn't want anyone to know about her memory coming back until she could restore the large chunk that was missing. She decided to do a little investigating before the Guv came back. She walked into Gene's office.

"Ma'am?" Shaz said. "I don't think the Guv wants anyone in there."

"Don't worry, Shaz. If I get caught in here, I can take care of myself."

Shaz shrugged and walked away, rubbing her stomach.

Alex, meanwhile, went to work. She looked through Gene's desk, searching for anything that might trigger her memory more. When there was nothing, she started going through his file cabinets. In the bottom drawer of one, she found her gun and warrant card, along with her name plate.

"_I thought these were gone forever."_

She put the gun and warrant card in her jeans, and held the name plate. Nothing had triggered her memory further. She wondered what happened to her jacket. Had she been wearing it that day? Yes, she had. It was probably in the dump somewhere. She remembered, somewhat hazily, someone removing her clothing and putting her in a nightshirt.

Alex turned around, and stared at the bulletin board. There was a newspaper clipping about her going missing. Above that was a picture of a man. He looked extremely familiar. She moved closer, but before she could even read the print, his name was pulled into her conscious thought.

"SAM TYLER!" Suddenly it all came flooding back. She remembered the bullet, her parents dying, being assigned to Sam's case, and Molly.

"Molly." It had been nearly a year since she had woken up with no memory. She had no sights of Molly during that time. Did this mean she was dead in 2008? What was going on? Alex grew faint, and supported herself on Gene's desk. Her head throbbed.

"I'm coming back Molly, I swear." Her vision turned black.

*

She woke up slowly, to find Gene standing over her, a frown on his face.

"What the hell are you doing in my office? Why do you have those things?" he growled menacingly.

"Guv..."

"Did anyone give you permission to come in here?"

"No, Guv, but..."

"Did anyone say you could go through my drawers?"

"NO, Guv, but..."

"Did you just call me Guv?"

Alex stopped, thrown by his question. Gene tilted her chin up, staring into her eyes.

"Did you just call me Guv?" He said it slowly, quietly, full of hope.

"Yes."

"Alex?"

"Yes, Guv."

"Oh my God! Alex, your back?!" He screamed this and all of CID looked up into the office, where she was standing across from him.

"Guv, I'm missing my jacket. My white jacket. Is it in the dump?"

"Typical woman," he muttered. "Recovers her memory and all she's worried about is clothes."

He looked at her. He didn't know how he had missed it. Her eyes were liquid again, instead of the ice that they had been for the past few months.

"Right. You want your jacket. Follow me." Gene led her into evidence, to the box with her name on it.

"We got those on the 13th of January." She started to open the box.

"Before you look at those, they're pretty bad. Chris ran out of the room to chuck."

"I have a stronger stomach than Chris, don't I?"

She continued opening the box. She looked in and gasped. The clothes were torn, dirty and bloodstained. Memories came flooding back into her mind about the time she had spent in that room. She knew a lot of the time she had been beaten senseless, but seeing these clothes put it into perspective. She pulled out her shirt. It was caked with blood.

Gene looked on sadly. "We thought you were murdered."

Alex pulled out the rest of the clothes in the box. At the bottom, also covered in dirt and blood, but amazingly not torn, was her jacket. She held it, the familiar leather giving her comfort. She looked at Gene.

"What triggered it?" He didn't have to explain. She knew what he was talking about.

"Bolly."

"What?"

"You said Bolly. Since the time you found me again, you've only said the word Bolly once."

"The only time I even thought about you being Bolly was at the Christmas party. I can't believe it...Bolls."

Alex smiled, putting the clothes back in the box, but leaving the jacket out. She'd clean it, and wear it as soon as she could. Gene put the box back up on the shelf.

"Alex."

"Yes, Guv?"

"What happened?"

* * *

**TBC... I might be posting later as it is the weekend....**


	13. Memories

**Right. I'm feeling nice today! (Plus I may not be able to post till late tomorrow...) Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Reviews are like candy to me... I really do appreciate them! **

* * *

Alex was sitting in Gene's office again. Chris, Ray and Shaz were all standing behind her. Gene was behind his desk looking at her.

"What happened, Bolls?"

Alex took a deep breath and plunged into her newly recovered memory. She thought back more than a year, back to the day she had been kidnapped.

_She woke up in a dark room. Her head was throbbing badly. She was sitting up against a wall. Alex felt handcuffs holding her hands behind her back and a rope tying her legs together. There was a gag in her mouth. She struggled against the bonds, had no luck. Her head throbbed painfully and she gasped. She hadn't realised how badly it hurt. _

_The door opened. Alex started screaming, hoping someone would hear. She struggled against her restraints again. A man stepped inside the door wearing a mask and shut the door, casting the room into blackness. He turned on a light, the only light in the room. Alex looked up at him in fear. He kicked her in the stomach._

_"Shut up! Cop scum!" Alex stopped struggling as she dealt with the new pain. _

_"Why?" she tried to asked around the gag._

_"Shut UP!" He hit her with the butt of a pistol. Alex slid to the floor, dazed and bleeding. The man walked out of the room as she slid back into unconsciousness._

_*_

_Alex woke up, her body stiff and sore. Her bonds had been removed, and she knew why._

_She had given up hope._

_She knew that Gene may very well still be looking for her, but it didn't matter anymore. He wouldn't find her. She would die. She was certain she would die. One day, one of the beatings would knock her into unconsciousness forever. She was okay with that. She would do anything to escape pain._

_She tried to remember why she had transferred to Fenchurch, but couldn't. She knew she was missing something; a big chunk of memory had just disappeared. She couldn't remember anything until Gene Hunt found her. Alex sighed. If she hadn't transferred to Fenchurch, this wouldn't have happened. She would have never been stuck in a cold store, never met the man who, before this, had always saved her life. It was her fault that she was here. And she would die here, either from starvation or blow gone wrong. _

_Her jacket lay underneath her head. It was her only source of comfort. Alex smelled the leather. The smell of smoke mixed with the smell of leather, dirt, and blood. She smelled it again. What she wouldn't give to have Gene blowing smoke in her face! She knew, however, that she would never experience that again._

_She was going to die._

_*_

Alex stopped. Her memory was starting to get hazy as she approached the memories where she didn't know who she was.

"Bolly?" Gene's voice was gentle.

"Not yet Guv," she said. She searched deep into her memory to continue the story.

*

_She gasped in pain as something cut into her leg. The man left the room, leaving a sandwich and a glass of water on the table. Alex looked at her leg. It was bleeding badly. She didn't even bother to cover it. It would heal in time, just like all of her other wounds. She ate the sandwich and drank the water. Why wouldn't they just end it?_

_*_

_Something was wrong with her leg. She couldn't move it. She felt feverish. Maybe this is how she would die._

_The door opened and two men walked into the room. Something told her to stay away from them and she tried to back herself up to the wall. Her leg still wouldn't move, she just fell down on the floor._

_"What's wrong with you?" one asked worriedly._

_She just groaned, grasping her thigh. It hurt so much. One of the men approached her and looked at her thigh. _

_"She's got a nasty cut here. It's hard to see, her jeans are in the way."_

_"Out of the way!" The other man approached her pocketknife in hand. He cut a hole in her jeans around the wound._

_She felt awful. She looked down at the wound. She wasn't sure, but she didn't think that the cut should be that colour. Bile started to rise in her throat. The first man jumped back as she vomited all over his shoes._

_"Shit!"_

_The second man continued to study the wound. "It's infected. Badly. She needs a doctor."_

_"I'll call the boss. Matt'll get someone to come over."_

_Their faces were blurring. She felt her leg throb once more, and passed out._

_*_

_She was lying in a bed. Her leg hurt. She tried to open her eyes, but they were too heavy. Voices surrounded her._

_"She's been half gone for the past couple of weeks, boss. She gave up, and she's been forgetting ever since," said a deep voice._

_"How can you tell?" a different voice asked. She assumed that he was the boss._

_"A couple days before we saw her leg, she wasn't responding to her name anymore. She's forgotten herself boss. It took a while, but we got her the way you wanted her. Her memory is clean."_

_She slowly opened her eyes. Four men were in the room. One was sitting on the bed, checking her dressing. The other three were standing around the bed. The man on the left was short, with curly brown hair and brown eyes. The man on the right was taller. He had black hair and green eyes. She focused on the man in the middle. He was tall and skinny, but not in a bad way. His eyes were ocean blue, and his hair was brown, almost black. They hadn't noticed her._

_"You two are lucky she's alive. I wanted her with a clean memory, not almost dead."_

_"Matt..." The man on the right stopped him. He pointed at her._

_Matt stared at her, eyes slightly cold. "Sedate her until she's healed," he said, then walked out of the room._

_*_

"The next thing I remember was waking up in the bed, with no idea who I was or where I was. He told me I was Catherine, so I accepted it. He showed me her life, and I lived it, like I tried to live my own life before my memory came back. He told me not to mention the fact I couldn't remember anything before the day I woke up. Then I met you at the bank, and you know what happened from there."

Alex stopped. She looked around the silent office. Shaz had tears in her eyes. Ray and Chris were both looking down, she couldn't see their faces. Gene stared at her, horror, revulsion and pity in his eyes.

"Jesus, Bolls."

"I want to see Matt."

"What? Are you mad Bolly?!"

"I want to know why he did this to me."

Gene nodded.

"Fine," he said. "I'll take you. "I want to know too."

* * *

**TBC... **


	14. Matt

**Thank you for all the reviews! I love receiving them and as I have told you before, they make my day!

* * *

**

Alex walked in to the room, Gene following her. Matt was led in a few moments later, handcuffed. He looked delighted.

Alex was scared. She was staring this man in the face, the man who was responsible for her months of suffering.

"Catherine! You haven't been to visit since I was put in here! I thought you'd forgotten me."

"How could I forget you?" she asked quietly.

"I honestly have no clue, but with the company you're in at present..." Matt looked at Gene.

"Has he tried to corrupt you yet?"

Alex looked at him. The anguish of the past few months passed through her mind. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore. She leaned forward.

"Her brain was so blissfully empty," she whispered. "Like a clean slate, just waiting for the chalk to write on it."

"What?"

"You let them beat me, starve me, and torture me in any way they thought necessary. As long as they didn't kill me."

"Catherine, what are you talking about?" he asked nervously.

"What did I do to you? I lay in that room for months, just hoping to die. What did I do to earn those beatings? To be starved? Why did I have to lose my mind to get free?" Alex's voice was shaking. Gene moved up to her, and put his hand on her shoulder.

Matt looked at her. "He did this didn't he? He brainwashed you!"

Gene looked at him angrily. "I think you'll find that this woman is in better health than she has been in over a year, Williams."

"He made me remember who I truly was."

"He made you who he wants you to be! Catherine! I'm the one who loves you! I helped you through that horrible flu, through the time you couldn't remember!"

"Only it wasn't the flu was it, Williams?"

"It was an infection," Alex stated. "An infection caused from your men, who wouldn't have listened to me if I had told them about it. They wouldn't have taken care of it till I was almost dead if they had been aware. Oh wait. I was nearly dead." She laughed coldly

"Catherine! No! Never!"

"'I wanted her with a clean memory, not almost dead_.' _Then you saw me watching you. 'Sedate her until she's healed.'"

"Catherine, please! I love you!"

Alex wasn't afraid anymore. Gene's hand on her shoulder was giving her the strength she needed.

"I'm not Catherine," she said coldly. "Thanks to the Guv, I can remember now."

He looked at Gene. "How?"

Gene looked smug. "Nickname, mate. I didn't expect it. I just said a sentence with her nickname in it, and it all came flooding back to her."

"But her mind was blank! She had no idea!"

"If you were a psychologist, Mr. Williams, you would know that all memories stay intact, it's just a matter of retrieving them. One trigger can make someone remember anything," Alex stated.

Matt hung his head. Alex looked on in pity.

"Matt, _why?_"

He looked at her.

"It had to be a copper."

"But why did you need a copper, Matt?"

"Cause coppers killed my wife."

***  
**

This was not the development Alex or Gene was expecting.

"What happened, Matt?"

"I've been 'in the business' for about three years. I used to work for a man called Layton; he was down here for a while too. But you know that, don't you Drake? You sent him down here. Do you remember the day you got him? Markham had kidnapped that girl, and you did a rescue mission. That idiot of a DC of yours decided to try and rescue her. There was a gunfight."

"How do you know all this?" Gene asked.

"I was there too, Hunt. Along with my wife Catherine. The gunfight started, and we ran. We didn't want to get caught. She fell. She had a bullet in her back. I took her to the hospital, they did all they could. She still died. That's when I decided what to do to get my revenge.

"It had to be a copper from Fenchurch and it had to be a woman. I told one of my men that, and sent him off with another to get one. I didn't care who she was, as long as she filled those two requirements."

"Woman for woman," Alex said, nodding.

"The man picked you out. His partner thought he was mad, going after CID, but I didn't care. I knew that even if uniform was chosen, Hunt would be in charge of the case.

"They brought you in, and rang me. I went into the room they had put you in, you was still unconscious. I had fully intended to kill whoever they had kidnapped, but seeing you lying there, I thought you were too pretty to kill. I decided that I would follow a different course of action. You would replace my wife.

"I would give it six months, I decided. If you were still Alex, I would have followed my first course of action and just kill you and dump the body for Hunt to find.

"You gave up though. Every once in a while, I would bring you food, to check up on you. I saw your fight end, replaced by despair. You'd lost all hope. Phase One complete.

"Phase Two would be harder. They told me that you wouldn't put up a fight, and that they had removed your restraints. I, however, was afraid that this might make you start fighting again. Much to my relief, you didn't."

"I couldn't," Alex said. "I could hardly even move." Gene's hand was gripping her shoulder so hard it was painful. Matt just looked at her and continued.

"We started Phase Two after two weeks."

"That was it?"

"It felt longer didn't it? I figured it would, stuck in that room like you were. We made sure we kept things random, so you couldn't figure out a schedule. Sometimes we'd give you water two or three times a day, some days we wouldn't give you any. It helped though; you were unconscious most of the time.

"We had two final phases planned. Final Phase A was if you hadn't lost your memory. We would have just killed you. The second one, Final Phase B, was harder. In this one, you had lost your memory, and then I would take you in, teach you my life. My men told me that you weren't responding as much. I didn't know what this meant, but I was hoping we were headed toward Phase B. Then I got a call. You were extremely ill and needed a doctor. I sent one over. Your leg was infected, and you were sick because of it. It took a while for the fever to break. They called me the day it did. I was angry with them; you had nearly died, only a few months in. But then they told me that you wouldn't respond to your name. I was hopeful.

"If you did wake up with no memory, I didn't want the first thing you asked to be why you had all the cuts and bruises. So I had you sedated. You healed, and finally I had them stop. You woke up, and your mind was empty. Final Phase B had begun.

"The first thing I did was send Hunt your clothes. I thought Alex Drake was dead; she would be replaced with Catherine. He thought you were dead. That's exactly what I wanted him to think. I didn't want you to be found, so I had you stay at home. I told you how the police were corrupt, so you'd hate them as much as I do."

"And you told me not to mention my memory, so that people wouldn't realise who I really was."

Matt leaned back in his chair and just stared at here. Gene was fuming.

"Who were your men?" she asked.

"Their names escape me at the moment."

Gene punched the window separating them, leaving cracks.

"If you don't tell us their names, I will personally make sure that you get the longest sentence possible! Give us their names!"

Matt just leaned back his chair on two legs looking smugly.

Alex looked at him. "Please?"

He looked at her, remembering her as Catherine. When she gave him that look, he couldn't refuse her. He tried to stop himself, remind himself she wasn't Catherine anymore, but he couldn't help it.

"John Black and Charles Moore."

Gene opened the door. "C'mon Bolly, let's go get these bastards.

Alex stood, giving Matt one last look. He looked up at her.

"Now my Catherine's died twice."

Alex and Gene left the room, the door slamming behind them. Neither of them noticed the angry look on Matt's face.

"As far as I'm concerned, Alex, it's been over six months, and you're you," he whispered to himself. "You killed Catherine again. And this time, Fenchurch East _will _be punished."

* * *

**TBC....**


	15. Life and Death

**K, so first off, I tried about a hundred different ways to change this chapter, but the end always got written the same. Just for insurance, I really did try, but this chapter in my mind could go no other way... Anyway, thank you for all the marvellous reviews! They are appreciated as always! I sadly don't own Ashes...**

* * *

December 21st, 1983

Alex was sitting in CID, fuming. The Guv had walked in here this morning, and announced that they were going after those kidnappers. Then he told her to stay behind. They argued for quite a while over whether or not she would be going. The argument was longer than usual, she suspected, because Gene had not had anyone as stubborn as he was for so long, and he was enjoying it. Finally, it had somehow ended in her giving in and being left behind to do Chris and Ray's paperwork.

Alex started to daydream. Suddenly, CID went quiet. She looked up, but couldn't see anything. The lights had gone out. She heard the beeping of a heart monitor.

"Mum! Mummy! Come back! You've been unresponsive for so long, Evan's gonna take you off your life support. You can't let him do that Mum! I don't want you to die! Mum, please..."

The lights snapped back on. Shaz was in front of Alex's desk, grabbing her stomach.

"Ma'am!" she gasped. "It's coming!"

*

Shaz was lying in the bed asleep. Chris was sitting next to her, holding her hand. Ray, Gene and Alex were all sitting around the new parents. The baby boy, named David, had been passed around and cooed over for a while, but eventually he went into the nursery. The room was quiet, but in a celebratory way.

Shaz woke up, exhaustion still clearly showing in her eyes.

"Congratulations, Shaz," Alex said again. Gene was looking at Shaz with a pout on his face.

"Your waters broke on my nylon tiles."

"Oh shut up, Guv," said Alex rolling her eyes. "It's not like she could control it!"

"Yes, imagine my surprise when I turned up in CID, expecting my DI to be happy that we caught one of the men who kidnapped her! Instead, I get there, no women in sight, my floor soaking and have to drive Christopher to the hospital, who by the way JUST barely got out of my car before he threw up! You would have been paying that cleaning bill Chris."

Chris blushed slightly.

"You only got one?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. The other bastard ran off before we could get him. I put a call out, and all the other stations in London are looking for him. We'll get him Bolls." His voice was reassuring.

They talked for a while with Shaz. Gene stood up.

"C'mon Bolly, Raymondo, lets hit Luigi's. I need a drink."

Alex and Ray stood up, and started walking out the door, only to be followed by Chris.

"Christopher," Gene said. "Your wife just had a baby! Stay with her!"

"I was just gonna walk you out," Chris said.

They walked out of the hospital towards Gene's Quattro. It was snowing lightly.

"Before you go, Guv," said Chris, "I want to talk to Ray in private."

"Fine, but don't make it too long. I am dying for a scotch over here."

Ray and Chris walked off, leaving Gene and Alex alone. Gene brushed some snow out of Alex's hair. Alex shivered.

"Jesus, Bolls, you must be freezing. Get in the car!"

Alex started walking round to the passenger side of the car. She heard two shots ring out. Pain exploded in her chest. She looked at Gene. His face was in shock. Blood was blossoming from a hole in his torso.

She fell. It seemed like slow motion. Someone approached her from behind.

"Matt told me all about you, Alex," a voice hissed in her ear. "Six month limit's been reached, love, and as far as Matt's concerned Hunt's killed Catherine twice now. So now you both die."

Two more shots rang out, and the man behind her fell, grunting in pain. Gene was on the ground now too. He looked at her, pain showing clearly in his molten silver/blue eyes.

"Alex..." His hand reached out.

She reached out for it, but their fingers missed by inches. Her world faded to white.

*

Chris and Ray stood by the hospital.

"Ray, I just wanted to ask you this in private. Will you be David's godfather?"

Ray smiled. "Of course I will Chris. And I'll raise him right too. Teach him how to handle a bird."

Two shots rang out. They ran toward the Quattro, and saw DI Drake drop to the ground. The Guv was on his knees, an arm resting on the door of the car. A black-haired, green-eyed man was standing next to Drake and whispering something in her ear. Chris and Ray both aimed, and fired. The man toppled over, dead from a shot to head and a shot to the chest.

They ran over to the Guv and DI Drake. The Guv looked at Alex and mumbled something, too low to hear. Their arms reached out toward each other, but they were just far enough from each other that their fingers couldn't meet. Alex's eyes glazed and she sighed one last time.

"Never got that dinner, Bolls" whispered Gene. His eyes had tears, but whether it was pain or anguish that caused them was unclear. His turned slightly as his body went limp. They had been so close to admitting it in the end, but death cruelly kept them apart.

Ray's eyes filled with tears. He knelt down, and closed Alex's eyes. Chris just sat by Gene looking lost. They looked at each other. Alex and the Guv were gone forever, living on only in their legacies.

* * *

**K, so yeah, I'm really really sorry if you completely hate me now... the good news is, I do have one more chapter. Maybe I could redeem myself? **

**TBC...**


	16. Realities

**Okay, I'm really sorry about yesterday! I hope this will make up for it! Thank you to everyone who has read this! Also, thank you for all the wonderful reviews! XXXrantandrumourXXX**

* * *

Alex woke slowly. She wasn't dead then? She opened her eyes. A doctor was standing at the foot of her bed. She looked around the room. Everything looked so modern. Did this mean...?

"You had us worried, Alex. But you pulled through, much to the delight of your little girl."

Molly appeared with Evan from around the corner.

"Mum!" she squealed.

Alex hugged Molly. She was back, but there was a slight edge of despair in the back of her mind.

_"Gene's dead," _she thought.

*

A month later, Alex and Molly were walking along the street. Alex had made a good recovery, but the doctors had said no driving, so she and Molly took a cab everywhere, or walked. Molly was walking backwards telling Alex about something that happened at school, when she ran into a man. He dropped the files he was holding, and papers flew everywhere.

Molly knelt down immediately and started picking up the papers, apologising profusely. Alex knelt and started helping. She looked at one of the labels on the files. _DCI Gene Hunt, _it read. The man was now squatting next to her, and grabbed the file before she could reach it. She looked up at him and stopped. He looked at her.

"Jesus Christ," he said.

"It can't be!" she exclaimed.

"Bolly?"

"Gene bloody Hunt," she whispered. "How?"

"I'm not entirely sure meself. In 2005, I flew through a windscreen in Manchester and ended up in a coma. I woke up in 1970, and thought I had to get back. I tried for a few years, but eventually this world went to the back of my mind. I was having too much fun being a DCI in the 70's. It wasn't too long until I'd forgotten all about this world. When we got shot, I thought I was going to die. Then I woke up here. Well, in a hospital, obviously. I was really confused, didn't know what was goin' on, but it all came back within a few hours. What I didn't get was that I was in a different hospital. I was transferred here to go into their long-term care." Gene raced through his explanation, like she would disappear any moment.

"But, you're a _figment!" _

"I thought it was in my head too, Bolls. That's why I stayed in London, to search. No family up in Manc anyway. But we existed, Bolly. See?"

He held out the files. They were labelled with his and her names.

"Guv, I just can't believe it's really you."

He leaned in closer to her.

"It really is, Alex."

"Tell me something that only you and I would know."

He leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"You still owe me a Christmas dinner."

She looked up at him, laughing. He stared straight into her eyes. Slowly, their faces drew together, and their lips met. Molly looked on happily, as if she actually understood everything that had just happened.

Alex and Gene pulled apart. They were both smiling happily. Gene had finally let his guard down, no longer having to be the "Manc Lion." Gene's hand slipped around Alex's. She looked at Molly.

"C'mon Molls. Let's go home."

_And I know it's insane... Only, this is my reality... (Alex Drake)_

*

"_Molly! We'll blow the candles out together, okay?" _

Her mum's final words to her rang in her head. Molly looked at the beeping heart monitor. Then it happened. The heart monitor went flat. A long beep sounded out in the room.

"Time of death, 11:04."

"Mum! No! Please, no!" She jumped up and grabbed Alex's hand.

"Molly." Evan grabbed her shoulder.

"Don't touch me! You as good as killed her! You took her off the life support!" Molly was sobbing.

"It's for the better Molly. She'll be a lot happier now."

Molly hugged her mother one last time, dropping something by her pillow.

"I'm so sorry, Mum."

Evan put his hand on her shoulder. She pulled away, but he grasped her elbow.

"C'mon Molls. Let's go home."

They left the room sadly. Molly stopped by the door and took one last look at her mum. Next to a handful of slightly melted candles, Alex lay motionless in the bed, a ghost of a smile etched on her face.

* * *

**Thank you again for reading. Please let me know what you thought of the story as a whole! XXXrantandrumourXXX**


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